To know their children are safe, happy and emotionally strong is one of a parents greatest concerns. If a child is being bothered by something at school or by a predator a parent would want to be the first to know so they could do something about it. The only way a parent can be sure that the child is all right is when they can confide in their parents on a person-to-person basis.
The problem is, are we actually listening to them as equals or is it with a condescending attitude? If it's the latter then this is helping to break the lines of communication between parent and child-leaving them unwilling to come to us for help.
Children don't get the same respect as grownups although they experience the same emotional problems. This is often overlooked by grownups. Children need to be treated with respect to ensure a trusting relationship.
Here are 5 tips, by Julie Scandora, teacher and author of the book "Rules Are Rules", to help you communicate better with your children:
1. Listen-Although this seems obvious, how many parents actually do it. If a child doesn't think they will be heard then they won't come to you with their problems.
2. Interaction-Create ways to connect with your kids. Because families spend so much time apart you need to find special ways to communicate with them. Driving them to school or to other activities is a perfect time to have a quality discussion with them.
3. Lead by example-Too many parents choose the "do as I say not as I do" method of setting an example and all this does is send mixed messages to the child regarding how they should be acting.
4. Respect the childs intuition-We all have "Gut feelings" and children should be encouraged to trust theirs so that they'll have something to fall back on in a dicey situation when we aren't there to help.
5. Don't confuse "respect" with "giving in"-It's important that the parent's role is not taken away. You can't give in to a child just so the problem goes away. Communication is paramount at this point because you have to let them know why rules are rules.
If the children knows that we'll listen to what they have to say and that we're willing to talk to them and not at them, it will help them gain confidence and maturity. At this point it's very important to practice what we preach.
If we respect our children like we respect other adults they will be better prepared for life and when they do come up against something they're too young to deal with they'll be comfortable in coming to us for help and advice.
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Contributor's Note
These tips are just that and not hard and fast rules for child rearing. They are good common sense tips which any parent should be able to use of in communicating with their children.
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