6 tips for Choosing a Consultant, Coach or Therapist

Whether you "go it alone" or ask for help, the real choosing happens in the first few sessions, not at the time of the initial phone call.

I will use the word "therapist" to refer to all 3 types of professionals in my suggestions, below. Choosing a professional for individual, couple, or family help follows the same general process, so you can apply the 6 steps below to almost any need you have.

Here are some things to look for:

1) Professional credentials - look for the therapist's license, certificate, or professional credential. Ask about his or her training and experience in general, and about experience treating the issues for which you're seeking help.
2) Compassion for your nervousness - because you probably will be nervous in the first few sessions.
3) If religion or faith is important to you, ask if the therapist is experienced and comfortable using a faith perspective for understanding and resolving problems.
4) An increasing sense of trust should be developing within the first few sessions. You have a clue about this from what you choose to say - you'll notice feeling safe with deeper levels of disclosure - or you won't. Talk to your therapist about this, and try someone else if necessary.
5) The therapist you're working with ought to be able to explain the theoretical approach he or she is using with you, in language you understand, whenever you ask about it.
6) You will be able to notice a sense of "getting well" or "making progress" after a few weeks. If you're not noticing this sense of positive change, you should ask why not, and be prepared to hear an honest answer that may include something the therapist has observed about you.

Giving the therapy relationship a chance to get established and grow makes sense, and does take time. However, the list above presents 6 things you can expect to notice in a matter of weeks. If you decide you need to make a change and try someone else, be respectful and talk to your current therapist about what doesn't seem to be going well between you or in the work you want to do - listen to his or her thinking, and then make your own decision.

Feeling self-confident is a goal most people have, and facing difficult decisions, like choosing to find a different therapist, can be a significant growth experience on its own.