Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

I recently wrote an article about the importance of incorporating affirmations into your routine – positive statements about your life that you repeat out loud every single day. When approached with freedom, you can make these statements whatever you want them to be. Where do you want to be in terms of your career? What would you like to achieve financially? What do you want out of your relationships? Put those “wants” into a present tense declaration as though they are true right at this moment and voila! You have a powerful affirmation that utilized correctly will help you to manifest your desires.

Perhaps you struggle with this concept, because these affirmations feel like lies. The skeptics among us find it challenging to believe that repeating something over and over can help to make it so. My feeling is this: do it anyway. As you start to feel the effects in your life, your confidence and levels of belief will increase. But I also want to talk about a supplemental tool from which we can all benefit enormously. That tool is Gratitude.

It is critical that you cultivate a sense of gratitude for everything good that exists in your life NOW. Where affirmations speak into the future you plan to create, gratitude is about being thankful for what is currently so. In her wonderful book, Zero to Zillionaire, Chellie Campbell suggests, “Thank whatever Higher Power you believe in for all that you have. Gratitude is the only thing that studies have proven increases happiness.”

Let’s face it. We live in a society that is all about focusing on what we don’t have. Commercials, magazines, movies all remind us that we can be thinner, wealthier, smarter and have more STUFF. Here’s the thing. I don’t believe that it is bad to strive for more. Goals keep us moving forward – they give us a sense of purpose and direction. I’ve said before that when it comes to finances, we should all strive to create wealth, not just because of what it will mean in our own lives, but because of the difference it will allow us to create in the lives of others. However, consider how much more powerful it is to strive for more from a place of happiness with what you have already created, than to constantly struggle to improve, while depressed by a perception of all the ways in which you have failed.

We get more of what we focus on. If you start consciously paying attention to your thoughts, it may surprise and frighten you to realize how much time you spend thinking about everything that is wrong in your life and beating yourself up for everything you should have done differently. What I’m suggesting is that you take time every day to start focusing on what is good, what you have done right, what you love about who you are and what you have. Personal growth expert, Anthony Robbins, suggests starting everyday with a gratitude exercise. This may not come easily at first. You can focus the exercise by “working from the inside out”, either speaking out loud or silently to yourself as follows. First, state all of the things you are grateful for, focusing only on yourself. “I am thankful for my health.” “I am grateful for my commitment to regular exercise.” “I am grateful for my beautiful singing voice.” (Or your ability to paint, or your work ethic, or your intellect – whatever you feel are positive traits you have.) Really take the time to think of everything you can. Perhaps you are a brilliant mediator. Do you consistently strive for and achieve high levels of integrity and honesty. Are you kind, a loving mother, a good friend?

Now you are going to expand your circle of gratitude. Move outwards to your family and close friends. Perhaps you are grateful for all your parents did to raise you, or the health and happiness of your brothers and sisters. Do you have friends that are always there for you – who love you – and make you laugh? Continue the exercise, just growing the circle wider and wider to encompass everything for which you give thanks in the sphere of your co-workers, then your community, followed by society and even the world.

The fact is, if you do this exercise genuinely, not making things up, but sincerely looking at all that is good, it is literally impossible to come away without feeling happy, positive and truly energized. Imagine what would be different if you truly made the commitment to start your day, every day, this way.

We can all find things to be grateful for. Once you get started, the floodgates will open and you’ll discover that having an “attitude of gratitude” can actually become a natural state. And from that state – absolutely anything is possible!

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Showing your appreciation for what others give you, whether it's their time or their efforts or just their company, changes your social context. It invites reciprocity and is likely to gain support.

What I dislike in this article is the way that you don't mention showing your appreciation to yourself at all -- "Wow, I'm glad that I got my art supplies organized, it's so easy to find stuff now." Socially we live in a thankless world so noticing and appreciating the things I do for myself is a way to rebuild confidence against frequent culturally-induced negativity.

People who are not religious may not want to thank a singular God or Higher Power for this or that. It's one way to live, not the only way to live. But paying attention to what's good in your life and appreciating it, really being there and enjoying it, is a lot happier than only paying attention to the negative.

robertsloan2 Jun 29, 2008 21:22

I'd also add, don't fish for things to thank abusers for. Not everyone can honestly say they're grateful to parents, a lot of people have estranged families and worse, serious abuse in the past. If birth family doesn't cut it, focusing on the present is better than the past and on friends and family of choice more than birth family helps a lot.