Domestic Violence is Everybody's Business

Sometimes you need to get into other people's business.

And domestic violence is everybody's business.

You may feel uncomfortable talking with your family member or friend about what is going on in their relationship. But if someone you care about is hitting or being hit, it's time to make their business your business. While you are trying to find the right words or the right way to interfere, someone may be trying to stay alive.

Domestic violence is a common and serious problem in the United States.

Since 95% of the victims of domestic violence are female, this discussion focuses on the battered woman.

Every year millions of American women are physically and emotionally abused by their husbands or intimate partner.

There is a good chance that someone you know---your mother, sister, friend, coworker or neighbor---is a victim of domestic violence.

Battering is the single major cause of injury to women, exceeding rapes, muggings and auto accidents. A woman is beaten every 15 seconds.

All intimate relationships have problems and stress. It is difficult to decide when it is appropriate to intervene. You might feel that you need to observe the situation for awhile and give it time to "work itself out". You could not be more wrong. The violence will not end until someone takes action to stop it. The violence and abuse always gets worse unless someone intervenes.

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence is known by many names. "Spouse abuses", "woman abuse", "wife beating", and "battering". Domestic violence may involve slapping, choking, strangulation, punching, sexual assault, and assault with a weapon or object. Verbal, emotional and mental abuse will accompany the physical abuse. Women may have broken ribs, concussions, brain injuries, hearing loss and miscarriages as a result of beatings.

In many of the reported spouse assaults, the victim was divorced or separated at the time of the incident.

If you think that it is not going on in your neighborhood, you are probably wrong. Domestic Violence occurs among all ages, races, and religions. It happens to people of all educational and income levels.

Any act of domestic violence is something to take very seriously. It is almost never a one-time occurrence, and it always escalates in frequency over time. It is not just a relationship or family problem. it is an act of violence with an abuser and a victim and it is a CRIME. It is a crime with serious repercussions for the victim, her children and the entire community.

What Can or Should We Do?

The first step to help or friend or family member is to learn more about domestic violence. Visible evidence, such as bruises, broken bones and black eyes and reports of accidents should be red flags that she might need help.

Educate yourself about what you can do about domestic violence. Find out what programs and services are available in your area to assist battered women and their children. Safe shelter, court advocacy, support and other services may be available.

Lend a sympathetic ear to your friend and guide her to the services that may help or assist her. Let her know that she is not alone. Encourage her to call the local domestic violence hot-line. Focus on her strengths and skills. Confront her with the emotional and physical harm that might come to her and her children if she does not get out of the abusive situation. Help her develop a safety plan for herself and her children. Help her think through the steps she should when (not if) her partner becomes abusive again.

When To Intervene.

Domestic Violence can result in serious physical injury and even death and it must be emphasized that it is a CRIME. If you are a neighbor, family member, or friend of someone that is being battered, immediately call the police. The abuser may or may not be arrested but you might be saving a mother and her children from harm.

To Stop the Violence:

Don't turn away if a situation looks suspicious. Get involved.

Make yourself aware of resources available in your area.

Take action.

Help is available 24/7 at the national toll-free domestic violence hot-line:

1-800-333-SAFE