Many of us can recall an instance when an elderly man died, and his widow was helpless in doing even the most basic functions like paying the bills and balancing the checkbook. But what few people realize is that there are many young women today who are following in their great-grandmothers' footsteps and leaving themselves vulnerable to unpleasant surprises when a divorce or spouse's death occurs. This is just a quick summary of what every woman should be able to do on her own, or should be aware of when the stars are in the eyes and everything looks rosy. It is not meant to be legal or financial advice. This is just common sense because you never know what's going to happen.
1. Understand the money. Know where it comes from, what it is spent on, how to reconcile statements and balance the checkbook. Even if your significant other is the one paying the bills every month, you need to know what's up.
2. Know where important papers like wills and insurance policies are kept. Ditto for important receipts and other critical papers. A safe deposit box is often a good choice. Make sure you each have a key, and that it is set up so that you can access it if your partner should be incapacitated or die. Talk to the rep at the bank to discuss the different accessibility issues relevant to your safe box.
3. KNOW YOUR PARTNER! Many women like to think that The Man is a financial genius who is ultra-ethical and will handle all these responsibilities with your mutual best interest in mind. The truth is that many men are financial klutzes who'd rather walk through fire than pay bills. Accept this fact and handle the matters yourself (which is good for you). Love him for the things he CAN do well.
4. Maintain your own financial and credit identity! This is one of the most important factors for women and one that is often the first things to disappear when she gets married. The odds are only about 50% that you'll still be married to this guy in 10 years, and if you don't want to be a financial nobody when you're on your own again, pay attention now. It affects EVERYTHING from getting a checking account, buying or renting a house, handling your retirements funds and a whole lot of other things you didn't think of.
5. Keep what's yours, yours. Many women have their own homes and financial assets when they marry. Depending on the state you live in, all that is yours can suddenly become his. This isn't a big deal as long as you both live happily ever after. But when a split occurs, you could find yourself selling the cottage you inherited from your great-grandmother because you deposited the rental income from it into the joint checking account, and it is now "community property." This is painful, and avoidable. Find out what it takes in your state for "yours" to become "ours," and don't do that. Consult a legal/financial expert for details.
6. The tax man cometh. A surprising number of men are responsible for doing a couple's taxes, and fudging the numbers a bit. Or a lot. When the IRS catches it (and most of the time they will), they won't care that you've been divorced for 3 years and didn't know what then-hubby was doing way-back-when. If you signed the return, you are responsible for any it as well. And if your dead-beat ex can't be found, the tax-man will tag you for the damages. Consult a tax expert. Understand what you're signing. Consider filing separate tax returns.
These are just a few simple and common-sense things to consider before taking the legal leap into couple-dom. Yet every year thousands of women are slammed with debt, taxes, bills that they personally didn't incur, or have to give up their own private property to a creep they just want to get rid of because they were too starry-eyed to see this coming. Love is a grand thing, but so is being practical!
