The best way to be a good husband is to be your natural self. Don’t let misunderstandings, anger, frustration turn into emotional baggage and cloud your thinking. Misunderstandings are like cancer cells. They grow in a rogue manner, planting suspicion, diluting trust and destroying relationships. The only way to kill misunderstanding is good communication. You will find that misunderstandings blow away when you are willing to listen to your wife’s point of view. It is possible that you are the wronged party. Even then, instead of carrying the hurt, you should give your wife a reason to talk. Maybe, she may see the issue in the right perspective. Even if she doesn’t, you will find that your own unhappiness has subsided considerably. You can once again behave in a natural manner.
Also, don’t sit in judgment over what your wife does or has done. Remember, that marriage is a partnership of equals. You can’t assume the right to decide what is right or wrong. A much better way to deal with tricky situations is to give your wife sufficient space to decide how she wants to live.
Equally important is the use of ‘I’ word in a marital relationship. It is like a double-edged sword. Most husbands wield it to show they are superior. But there are some that use it wisely, and make their wives think. For instance, if your wife has forgotten to wish you on your birthday, you don’t have to launch into an accusatory tirade that you don’t care for me. A better way to elicit a positive reaction is to say that “I felt hurt when you forgot about me.”
You must also assure your wife that you care. For this you don’t have to make pompous statements. Simple gestures like a light pat for something you liked, a touching caress or an admiration kiss speak more than a million words. You will find that your wife warms up to these thoughtful gestures, especially when they come from the heart and are not artificial.
You must also avoid hurting your wife. This happens especially when you are angry. Avoid personal attacks. They can smolder, and create more friction. It is always best to talk things through. Good communication is the best bond that can keep a marriage together. The day communication fails, or becomes one-sided, the marriage is in danger.
So, if you want to be loved and respected as a good husband, learn to share, care and communicate.
