Getting angry from the daily events of life is a common thing. No one is immune to the negative effects of anger and we have experienced anger at some point in our lives. After a bad day at work, parents will want to spend time at home and just relax from the stresses caused in the workplace. However, they may find themselves irritated, frustrated or angry and would shout at their children for their poor behaviour.
After the cooling off period, parents may realize that it is unfair for the children to bear the brunt of their temper. The child on the other hand will feel hurt and be puzzled by their parents’ actions. He may also have the idea that it is correct to be shouting and could make this part of his behaviour too.
Anger Management for Adults
1. Putting yourself in the shoes of others. Always ask how would you feel if you are at the receiving end of your own actions. If the answer is NO, constantly remind yourself not to blow your top.
2. Physical activity. Perhaps releasing anger in some other ways such as going for a jog, swimming, or even the gym can neutralize some anger and prevent yourself from exploding to your children.
3. Music. My dad told me this before. He said after a stressful day at work, he makes it a point to listen to the radio or his favourite music to unwind while driving home. Those taking public transport can purchase a mp3 player.
4. Know yourself. When you realized that your temper is on the verge of getting out of control, alert yourself about it! Thinking of more pleasant situations, cracking a joke are just some of the ways to divert away your anger.
5. Reconnection with the child. If you realized that you are at fault, make attempts to let your child know that you are apologetic. Never leave it hanging. You would want your child to know that as a parent, you are responsible for your own behaviour and actions.
Anger Management for children
1. Toddlers and pre-schoolers: when they throw tantrums, handle them in a firm and calm manner. When disciplining them, speak in a authorative tone. This is to ensure your child takes you seriously and know what is right or wrong.
2. Kids aged 7-12:
o Correction on the spot. When your child shows his temper such as slamming the table, yelling, or throwing objects, let him know that such actions are unwarranted and not tolerated.
o Rewarding. Often labelled as a “bribe”, if your child manages to fulfil his promise and does something correctly, a small reward will encourage him and lift his spirits.
o Caring and sharing. Understand your child better by asking him if there is any specific reasons for the outburst. Of cause, the conversation can start off by enquiring about school and gradually going to the root of the problem. In a child, anger and sadness are closely related and a child may express his sadness by being angry. Frequent communications is required to understand your child better and know how he thinks.
o Conveying your expectations. This is a good method to set some benchmarks for your child. Tell him your expectations and also the consequences if he fails to obey them.
Check out the short video clip about anger management tips. It speaks of the 3Rs: Relax, Rethink, Redirect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oldlIFF9YTw
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Contributor's Note
this article was first published on Qassia and will be part of www.mylittlesunshine.sg! This is a site that provides parenting tips, and other related functions for the Singapore Child!
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