We'll start with 'staring' in various intensities and
types. How hard someone is staring at you can
tell you a lot about what they are thinking. The Sideways Glance:
This gesture is one of the first signals of romantic
interest. Because it is subtle and sly, it allows an
individual to flirt without being obvious. While the
interested woman may boldly stare at her intended,
she will demurely lower her head and tilt it away
from his. In so doing, she can veil her brazen
move under the cover of shyness. (Men are usually
a little less subtle ... male attraction via eye interest
is covered fully towards the bottom of this message)
The Prolonged Glance:
A more overt gesture than the aforementioned, the
lingering gaze has no pretense of coyness. This is
an indication of someone who wants to get right down
to business. As a result, the prolonged glance indicates
sexual attraction and pure lust.
For the less brazen, but still interested person, such
eye contact may be intermittent but repetitive, with
momentary looks away and returns.
If the lingering occurs midway through a conversation,
however, rather than during an introduction, it more
likely indicates interest in the conversation.
The Hard Stare:
Often accompanied by hooded lids and constricted
pupils, the hard stare is typified by the movie villain.
Such a penetrating gaze signals that the individual
possesses an invasive, aggressive or threatening mood.
Note that the hard stare is distinguished from the
prolonged glance in that, during the amorous or
lustful prolonged glance, the glancer provides periodic
brief breaks from the lingering, whereas the hard stare
just does not let up!
The Up-and-Down Gaze:
Often referred to as the "once-over," this eye
movement is often seen in men on the prowl.
When a man looks a woman up and down, he is
apprising her as a potential bed partner. If he
performs this gesture more than once, chances
are he likes what he sees in a physical sense
and his sensual imagination may be running away
with him.
Women are also prone to the 'once over', but
are usually more polite about it and are less likely
to get caught!
The Even Gaze: If an individual meets you in the
eye, without holding the glance for too long, you
can generally assume that no romantic ploys are
involved and that (s)he is just being generally
inviting.
The Averted Gaze:
This is a strong indication that your counterpart
is being deceitful. She may either be outright
lying or she may simply be feeling guilty
about what is being discussed. Eye rubbing, as an
excuse to look away, may also indicate
untruthfulness (for further discussion on this topic,
refer to the next chapter).
However, looking away IN RESPONSE to an overly
long gaze should not be interpreted as deceit, but
rather just an effort to reduce intimacy.
The Closed Eyes:
This is not the same thing as a blink, but rather
a prolonged closing of the eye that is visually
perceptible to the viewer. If you see your
counterpart performing this gesture, it's a good
indication she doesn't want to hear any more
about what you are discussing. This signal is
often accompanied by raised eyebrows.
The Upward Rolling Eyes:
Often seen when someone disagrees with what
you have said or can't believe you are speaking
the words you are. Rolling eyes are indicative
of exasperation.
Last ... since so many women ask (and men don't
seem to be aware) ... we'll conclude this message
with a detailed discussion about ...
* How men display attraction with their eyes ...
When a man is interested in a woman, the woman
will likely "feel his eyes upon her." When she meets
his gaze she will note that he holds it longer than
is typically considered proper or customary. The
gaze might turn into a "roaming of the body," with
the eyes lingering momentarily on sexual body
parts. Women see this all the time when they
find men ogling their bosoms rather than
concentrating on their faces.
But sustained eye contact (face to face, not oogling
the body!) CAN be (especially when taken in
combination with other bodily cues) an obvious
signal of attraction. But there may still be certain
situations where an intense gaze leaves you
wondering exactly what someone's intentions are.
For example, if a guy stares a woman in
the eyes in a business situation, but he stares
hard into her eyes, is there any possibility
he likes her? We must examine the context of
the situation and the accompanying gestures.
If a scenario such as this occurs in, say, a
classroom or a business meeting, it may
only indicate that the man is extremely
interested in what the woman is saying.
Look for indications like turning part of his
body away from the woman or references
to the professional nature of the encounter.
If these aspects are present, you can assume
interest in communication only. If they are
absent, however, then there is a distinct
possibility of interest. In order to make a
final determination, a woman will need to
watch for the other nonverbal signals of
interest as discussed above.
The same rules can apply to a guy who always
stares at a young woman in her school hallways,
but never says hi. She may be unsure whether
he likes her. It could be that he's just too shy
to approach her or he might just be a naturally
curious gawker.
How does she tell the difference? Again, by
watching for other nonverbal cues that indicate
romantic interest or by non-verbally returning
and encouraging his interest to see if he takes
things a step farther.
When a man is NOT romantically interested
in a woman he will:
- Display rigidity in his posture (the same as
a disinterested woman would)
- Cross his legs and/or arms when seated,
closing off his body to advances
- Avert his gaze so as not to encourage
advancement
But to REALLY determine attraction levels and intentions
in people you already consider friends or associates
(vs. strangers) you need to consider many additional
factors. You see, because they are comfortable in each
other's presence, friends of the opposite sex often give
off flirtatious cues, even though they may have no
romantic interest in each other.
Well ... that's enough for one day! We hope it was helpful
to you.
Best,
Disclaimer: For education only. Please do not use the information
in this newsletter as your sole source of information for making
decisions about important real life issues. Although the authors
hold doctorates in psychology, and although every effort has been
made to ensure the accuracy of the findings presented herein, body
language is NOT an exact science, and the interpretations offered
in this book are not the only ones possible. Furthermore, the
interpretation of body language can be very contextual, as
described throughout these newsletters, and as such, a fully
accurate interpretation or description is not possible en mass and
in writing. Most importantly, please do not utilize this book in
lieu of an in-person consultation with a licensed professional.
