Parenting and big Mistakes

Now days raising children, can at times, seem to be a never ending nightmare at times! But it really doesn't have to be that way. Learning your childs lies and dislikes and of course, what causes the main out bursts, disrespect etc. Knowing how to interact when problems occur is very important, so that the problems can be easily ended, before things get way out of control.

Many parents are easily fooled by children, when the children finally find ways to control there parents! And many reading this would say, my children have no control over me! Well, to begin with, if there's many battles in your home, at least 2 to 4 times a week, you had better face reality, your children either already have some what control over you, or are treading very thin lines to get control!

There are many parents, that seem to use the threatening mode, to try to keep the upper power over there children. It may in fact work one or two times, or maybe a few more times, but all your doing is making a huge wedge, between you and your child! And in most cases over time, irreversible! And it gives the child that much more power over you when the power threats, just don't work anymore!Power struggling in the home, with children, will only lead to very unhappy family.

Many parents seems to make the Huge mistake, in thinking they are to be the only teachers in the family, where as if they would be completely open to there childrens thoughts, feelings and ideas, the family life would be a lot better off! Children thrive to be heard and to be a huge part of the families everyday life! Family life is a whole complete unit, if the unit is so seperated, many problems occur and directs family life into many day to day battles.

Then what happens, is the children see there chances of being more in control and will keep the battles going as long as they can with there tantrums etc. to get more control in the home! And then when they become teens, the home life can be pure hell! Teens uncontrollable, parents out of ideas, battles getting more and more aggressive, and teens disrepecting and doing what ever they want! The children and teens, if not stopped at a very early age, from learning how to lie and make up stories to cover there butt's, when they have done wrong, they will soon get very good at it and use the lieing and story telling quite often and to the point, of using there new great tools to actually run the household to a limit of there satisfaction!

Children and teens, learn from there parents, a lot more then many parents even realize. When the parents are in a agruement, and done right out in the open in front of the children, they listen and watch and use it as a learning tool for them, but the problem is, many children use it later in life as more distruction then anything good!

Parents that use foul language when arguing with there husband or wife, has to be completely stopped, no matter how bad the tempers get! Parents have to learn, never at anytime argue in front of the children or teens!

For it gives them tools to use on parents when battles break out in the home between the parents and children or teens, and also great bad tools to use against there siblings and out in the world, with teachers, friends! Many parents make the huge mistake of arguing in front of there children and teens or where the teens or child can still hear them!

Parents have to remember, 90% of misbehaving children and teens are mostly learned at home! Many parents would argue and say, that's not true! But the fact is, it is! Children learn how to act, by watching there parents, they learn how to talk and say things there parents say!If parents in there angry agruments, swear or name calling, the children and teens pick it all up and in fact use the bad swearing and name calling to there friends and even to there parents when they get angry! Most children and teens usually reframe themselves from doing so to there parents, but once it does slip out in anger, then it gets easier for them to do it more often!

Parents that tell there children and teens, don't do as I do, do what I say is! Is nothing more then a parent struggling with parent power! Telling a child or teen to don't do what you do, is actually teaching them to do it, when your not around! If you don't what your children or teens s doing things you do, that you know, you don't want them doing or saying, then don't do it in front of them! Period!

Children and teens are going to want do things they aren't suppose to do, just to do them, to find out why you don't want them too! Just like parents that smoke, if the Mother and Father both smoke, chances are most of there children, when teens will smoke! If a parent drinks a lot, chances are the teens will become drinkers! If a parent or both parents do drugs and smoke pot, chances are there teens will be users too! If a child or teen has a unhappy home life, they will search for happiness else where!

Using everyday common sense, can really give parents the upper control of there children and teens! Knowing your childrens and teens dislikes and likes, is the Golden key of a parents success in raising there children and teens.

Being involved in there everyday life as much as possible will keep the children and teens on the path of life you would want them to have. The lessor time you spend wth them, the more chances they have of thinking up there own way to live the way they want too!

When a child or teen is upset about something, don't just think they will work it out on for themselves, be the first one there to help them through the problems they may have, remember, your not there prison guard, your there guide to the future! They become a mirror of you, and for that, they make you proud as a parent! You have the power to mold them to be great future adults and to be very happy human beings. The more the family life is loving and happy the more the children and teens grow up, without all the everyday bad things in life!

Unhappy children and teens are the ones, that turn to drugs, drinking and sex! keeping them happy and respectful will keep them from going down the wrong paths in there adventures to adults. The I said so's and the do what I say, never actually teaches a child or teen of what your trying to tell them! Explaining in a caring manner, will get you a lot further in your child or teens reaction! Never walk away from a great chance to explain, why this is bad or this is good! They need to know the facts in details, for them to understand completely and act on them.

Parents in our todays world, must go that extra mile to make sure that there children and teens understand in detail, of all the bad things in todays world. Not just because you say it's bad, but why it's bad or they will go ahead and try it the first chance they get away from home, most of the time. Parents must keep a better track of there children and teens friends, and where they actually hang out with there friends. Always get phone numbers and addresses and last names! Get to know the friends parents, somewhat. A conversation now and then with them, won't kill you! It will be better for you down the road, if problems should ever occur.

Learn ways to get to know your childs or teens friends, that way you can feel more at ease when your child or teen is out having fun with them, and you can better trust the friends. It's always important to find out what is upsetting your child or teen, talk it out with them to see if you can be of some help to ease there feelings. Don't let them just sit with problems all bottled up.

Many bad things happen in school to children and teens today, from other children and teens! And now days, even teachers and other school workers! Always let your chidren or teens know, they can come to you and talk to you about anything, without you flipping out or getting angry. Many children and teens have that void in there family life and need it filled badly.

Learning things from friends, isn't what they really want!There only forced to go that way, if a parent isn't there for them to guide them to the answers they need. Children and teens need, not only the bond of love and caring from there parents, they really do thrive for understanding and to learn.

Never beat arond the bush, sort of speak on any question that may come up! Even if you feel uncomfortable with Any question they may have, or even if you feel the answer would be uncomfortable for you to give, you must get past the uncomfortableness, and do the best you can, and be very truthful. Don't show your fears or uncomfortableness or questions may not be asked again.

Remember, it's better heard from you and the truth, then hearing it from a friend or some student in school! You are there guide to adulthood, Only you can give the right directions on what right path they take! Hearing things from there classmates or friends, most likely will get them off the path, the future you see for them and have been guiding them too! Being harsh when problems arise, will only make your child or teen put up there guards, being open and caring will always get better results.

A child or teen can't learn from you, if you can't learn from them! You must be able to understand them, if you want them to be able to understand you. The more open and explaining you can be, the more open and learnable they will be. Parentening is not a one way street, your child or teen has there own street heading to adulthood, and you must at least be there for them, so they don't rear off there street and take a differnet road in life, then what you have tried to teach them since birth. There friends can easily steer them into the wrong direction quite easy, if there building blocks at home are crumbling.

Parenting is a learning experience, there is no one perfect advice. But being aware of your childs needs in Learning and Happiness, will be a great resource for all parents to be great parents! Most teachers in schools are also parents! But teachers are limted on how much they can teach children, parents are the first important teachers in there childrens life! You have to be able to do your part, so the your children are ready for the teachers in schools, can do there (Part) of there job. Teachers in school, are Only the secondary learning! Parents are the Main first teachers! Many parents are shoving the whole childs teachings off to the school teachers! That's not being a real loving, caring parent!

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