Looking back, it seems I have always carried a huge handbag. Maybe it’s because I am tall and can get away with it. That, and the fact that I’ve always been a “no-nonsense-get-it-done” kind of girl…the exact polar opposite of the pampered “princess”.
As if I haven’t paid enough dues to Schlep University, even now I have to force myself not to purchase the most massive tote in the store. Doing what comes naturally, albeit making frequent but necessary trips to my chiropractor’s office, I have learned that shoulders and spinal columns need some consideration too. My chiropractor and I have arrived at a bilateral agreement, a sort've truce. He adjusts my shoulders and back, and in return, I have adjusted my lifestyle. Well, not really. I now carry smaller “large bags”. I attempt to put much less in them. I said, “attempt”. The bag is smaller, but the contents after one week are the same. What can a girl do? I must be prepared for any and all eventualities.
The world is made up of two types of women: the big toters (like me), and the charming little handbag people. You know them, the ones who carry quartz-crystal-inlaid strawberries, or monkeys, which have no handle, and will hold no more than a $50 bill and maybe a lipstick and compact. Pretty as it is, for sure, this glittery little confection will serve no other purpose than to go to fancy places and inspire conversation about its droll sophistication. I’ve always wondered what this woman does with it when asked to dance. Being the size of a small cantaloupe, it’s too big to hold in one’s hand. Does one leave it on the table, this $1,200 worth of whimsy with $50 inside? Well, that’s what they do in the movies. I’ve seen it happen many times. While the romantic leads slip and slide around the dance floor, I am distracted by the glittery purse left behind, now in soft focus, sitting there at the mercy of strangers.
Not for me. If it can’t be a small evening bag with a shoulder strap, at least give me something I can hold in my hand!
Then there are those girls who will hand their lipstick and compact to the gentleman and brazenly expect him to walk around, all lumpy and bumpy the whole evening, while the lady swishes around unencumbered. Gee! My dates usually ask me to put their keys, credit cards and cell phone in my bag for safe keeping. Hmmmmm.
Well, that’s not for me either. Remember, I’m the huge handbag girl. I need more “stuff” than many of my sisters. Might need my phone, right? And credit cards, and the glasses, and of course the compact and lipstick, maybe a small pad for notes, and a few business cards. Can you imagine all of that in my date’s pocket?
Maybe I’ll design a crystal-encrusted evening backpack. I’ll put my stuff and his in there. I’ll sparkle while I float blithely around the floor, arms free to dance.
“K”
www.hothothandbagsandtotes.com
