He did the unthinkable, and now you want to get even. Ok, you’re entitled to blow off a little steam, tell all your friends (and his) what a horse’s ass he is, maybe even lay a major guilt trip on him — complete with waterworks. But now that the tears have stopped, you decide you just can’t rest. You want to hurt him the way he hurt you. Really make him suffer. But before you pull a Lorena Bobbit, stop to consider: Is it worth it? There are two ways to look at it… Things you want to do:
Key his car — and risk retaliation.
Seduce his best friend — and face possible rejection and humiliation.
Tell his mother what he REALLY thinks of her — chances are she’ll side with her son.
Boil his rabbit (oh, and his furry little pet, too!) — and risk going to jail.
Things you can do instead:
Cleanse. Time for a little spring cleaning to clear the cobwebs from not only your heart and head, but your house, as well. Toss out all reminders of him, good or bad. If you’re headed toward a healing place, you can put a few sentimental items away in a box for reminiscing years down the road. (I’ve ended many a relationship by tearing up or tossing pictures and, later, regretted not having one image to remember that period in my life.) But don’t send any tokens of your relationship back to your ex in a huff or to prove a point. All it proves is that you’re still thinking about him.
Work it out. Work it out of your system with a good workout routine. It will get you out of the house, help lift your energy and spirits, and help you keep that hot — perhaps even hotter — body you know he’s missing (just another benefit if you happen to run into him).
Move on. The sooner you get on with your life, the sooner you let him know that your world didn’t really revolve around him after all. Get out with your friends. Take them up on that blind date you thought you could never get through without throwing up. You might remember just how exciting it can be to have someone find you interesting and desirable. You don’t have to go any farther with it, just get the wheels spinning again.
Forgive. No one says you have to forget what happened, and you may wonder why you should ever forgive such a crime of the heart. But to forgive is to free yourself from another’s emotional hold. Anger means you care, and of course the last thing you want is for him to think that you’re still harboring some sort of feelings for him and mourning your relationship. But it’s not really about what he thinks. In fact, that’s exactly the kind of thinking you want to steer clear of, according to Dr. Wayne Dyer, renowned self-empowerment expert and acclaimed author. He writes of forgiveness that, when you carry around hatred and judgment, you have "literally given control of your life to those whom you have judged to have wronged you. This is your hatred. You carry it around with you wherever you go. You have given someone permission not only to hurt you once, but to continue controlling your inner life." In other words, try to remember: His actions are his problem, not yours.
