ips for being with Toddlers... Always give commands in the positive – "Don't" is a word that little brains cannot compute and is simply deleted. So “Don't touch the elephant.” Sounds exactly like”mumble touch the elephant.” they then spin around looking for the elephant to touch!
Keep the word “No” for really special and frightening situations. It wears pretty thin on toddlers very quickly – then when you really need it, they can no longer distinguish it from all the other mumble.
May I have some candy? Yes, tomorrow after lunch.
May I stay up. Yes, when you are 8 years old. Right now it is bedtime.
What they wear does not matter. Get over it now. It will make your life significantly easier for all of you if you “get” that right now. By all means buy the pretty clean dress or shirt, but be sure to have no expectation of it being worn they way you had in mind. Actually the best year I had with my 3 was the year that they were all excited by dress up clothes. I bought lots of it and almost no regular clothing. Everyone in the public thought I was being such a great indulgent Mom and I had no fights with the kids at all. Besides tears and stains are expected on dress-up clothes aren't they?
I became really tired of policing the candy in the house and we set up a system that is still working for me. You can help yourself to a small piece of candy from the huge stash in the jar (which I buy for their small size) as soon as you have finished eating an apple / banana/ orange or glass of water. Now, when they come to me asking for candy – I simply say: “You know the rules – help yourself.”
I have had one or two occasions with a child who thought she would have liked to eat the fruit but couldn't really wait for the candy. She had a week long prohibition and has not made that mistake again. Over time it has averaged out to about 2 small pieces of candy a day and no more whining about it all.
Sleeping with your toddler....now here is an issue that really kicks! There are definite pros and cons for sleeping with your babe. On the pro side: he snuggles and smells good as he sleeps. On the con side: you don't do that much sleeping. I'd say it was a personal call. One of the things we did that worked tremendously was to put them to bed with each other. Then they had a warm thing to cuddle.
Now, we start out every night all in our own beds, but by the time the cats are yawning at us we could be in any one of about 25 different configurations. I am all for doing whatever allows us all to sleep right now for the rest of the night. I cannot imagine that my teen age kids will still be creeping in over my toes for cuddles. I say get them while you can!
Bedtime is always fun if it involves you climbing into their space with them and reading to them for a nice long while. Even better if this is preceded by having a really splashy bath with everyone involved just before hand.
It is worth noting that not all kids are created alike. Of my 3 I have 1 real night owl. We allow her to stay awake with a little light on and to draw and read quietly until she falls asleep herself. Interesting note – you cannot force anyone to eat or to poop or to sleep. Don't think you can. You'll be sorry you tried!
