How many times have you heard someone say: "What she doesn't know won't hurt her!" That is a totally false statement. What you don't know can bring total devastation when it affects your survival. This was recently made crystal clear when a friend of mine who had been married for 30 years suddenly came face to face with the reality that her husband was not only addicted to gambling but a pathological liar. She had been totally content all those years with her husband taking care of everything. She never questioned their financial status, his expenses while traveling, or any of the other expenditures. They always had a nice home, car, food, and moved in the right circles with other successful people. He had not wanted her to work but stay home, take care of the house and enjoy the "good life". Over the years, she became comfortable with her role.
Everything came tumbling down when he had an accident that took away his ability to "handle everything". My friend was suddenly faced with having to take over and had no idea where to start. A friend of her husband's offered to help her and to her dismay, discovered that her husband had not only gambled away their life savings of several hundred thousand dollars but had also charged another hundred and thirty thousand dollars on credit cards. The bank account was empty, his company fired him for using company credit cards for online gambling and he was in critical condition in a hospital. She will survive but at 60+ years of age, she now has to find a job (not an easy task after being out of the work force for 30 years).
My friend had committed the most common mistake made by women. Allowing themselves to become totally dependent on someone else for everything. It doesn't matter how much you love your spouse or they love you, you need to be aware of important financial matters that affect your life.
Ask yourself these questions:
If my spouse dies in his sleep tonight, do I know if he has a will?
Can I access all of the bank accounts?
Where is his life insurance policy?
Who do we owe money to and how much?
If you have been a stay at home Mom for many years, do you have a career to fall back on?
Do you qualify for widows benefits?
Survival may depend on you knowing the answer to the above questions and don't make the mistake of thinking "This won't happen to me!" The only thing we can predict for certain in life is that someday everyone will die.
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Contributor's Note
If you are the one who "takes care of everything", give some serious thought to making a list of all the things your spouse would need to know if were not there and then set down together to go over the list. It will show how much you really care!
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